Cooking with DOOM
The number one cooking show in Latveria. Informative and completely in character, Doom graces /co/ with his masterful cooking skills. Recipes Chocolate Toffee Cake MINIONS! COME GATHER AROUND THE TELEVISION AND PREPARE YOURSELF AS DOOM SHALL NOW GRACIOUSLY INSTRUCT YOU ON THE CREATION OF A DELECTABLE CHOCOLATE TOFFEE CAKE! PREHEAT YOUR OVENS TO 350 DEGREES AND GATHER THE FOLLOWING INGREDIENTS! ONLY USE THE HIGHEST QUALITY OF INGREDIENTS, SO SAYS DOOM! Cake: *1/2 cup butter *2/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar *2 eggs *1/2 cup self-raising flour *1/2 cup ground almonds *2 and 1/2 squares cooking chocolate, grated Toffee icing: *4 tbsp butter *2/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar *2 tbsp golden (light corn) syrup *1/2 cup single (light) cream Sifted icing (confectioners) sugar (optional) CREATION OF THE CAKE SHALL OCCUR FIRST! FOLLOW ALONG OR MEET YOUR DOOM! CREAM BUTTER WITH THE SUGAR UNTIL LIGHT AND FLUFFY. BEAT IN EGGS ONE AT A TIME, THEN FOLD IN THE FLOUR AND GROUND ALMONDS! YOU WILL THEN ADD THE CHOCOLATE AND MIX WELL. FAILURE TO MIX WELL WILL RESULT IN DEATH AT THE HANDS OF DOOM. YOU WILL NOW POUR THIS MIXTURE INTO A GREASED AND LINED 20CM OR 8IN CAKE TIN OR PAN. BAKE IN YOUR PREHEATED OVEN FOR 1 AND ONE QUARTER HOURS, OR UNTIL FIRM TO A LIGHT TOUCH. LEAVE THE CAKE IN THE PAN FOR 5 MINUTES BEFORE CAREFULLY TURNING ONTO A WIRE RACK TO COOL. WE SHALL NOW CREATE THE ICING! YOU WILL PLACE THE BUTTER, SUGAR AND SYRUP INTO A SAUCEPAN. STIR OVER A GENTLE HEAT UNTIL THE SUGAR HAS DISSOLVED. THIS SUGAR SHARES ITS FATE WITH THAT INSUFFERABLE REED RICHARDS! BRING TO THE BOIL, REDUCE HEAT IMMEDIATELY AND SIMMER WITHOUT STIRRING FOR 5 MINUTES AND NOT ONE SECOND LONGER! REMOVE FROM THE HEAT AND SLOWLY POUR IN CREAM IN A STEADY STREAM, BEATING WELL WITH A WOODEN SPOON. LEAVE TO COOL AND THICKEN! SHOULD YOU DESIRE THICKER ICING, ADD SUFFICIENT ICING (CONFECTIONERS) SUGAR TO GIVE THE DESIRED CONSISTENCY! SPREAD THE ICING OVER YOUR CAKE AND SWIRL SURFACE WITH SPOON! YOU WILL NOW ENJOY THIS CAKE! Cherry Bomb Chicken GREETINGS PEASANTS AND RESIDENTS OF LATVERIA, IT IS TIME FOR COOKING WITH DOOM. IT IS YOUR HOST, DOCTOR DOOM, SPEAKING. TODAY, YOU PEASANTS WILL BE FOLLOWING THE GUILDE LINES IN PREPARING WHAT DOOM LIKES TO CALL CHERRY BOMB CHICKEN YOU WILL NEED TO AQURE: *1 quart cold water *1/3 cup kosher salt *1/2 cup sugar *1 pint cherry tomatoes *3 habanero peppers *1/2 teaspoon allspice *4 cloves garlic *1/2 tsp dried thyme *1/4 tsp cumin *1/4 tsp black pepper *1/4 tsp cayenne *1 tbsp vegetable oil *One 4 lbs. Chicken Quartered, wings included *Red Pepper Chili YOU PEASANTS WILL NEED TO FIRST PREPARE A BRINE FOR US TO GET STARTED. FIRST, TAKE A QUARTER OF COLD WATER, HALF A DOOM CUP OF SUGAR, AND A THIRD OF DOOM CUP OF KOSHER SALT. YOU WILL STIR THE SALT AND SUGAR IN THE WATER, OVER A LOW FLAME, UNTIL IT DISSOLVES ENTIRELY. THEN, TURN OFF THE FLAME, AND LET THE WATER COOL TO ROOM TEMPERATURE. YOU WILL THEN PREPARE THE REST OF THE BRINE, BY ADDING A DOOM PINT OF CHERRY TOMATOES, THREE SEEDED HABANEROS, AS DOOM TAKES THIS AS FIERY AS THE DEVIL'S STINKING NAVEL, FOUR CLOVES OF GARLIC, AND HALF A DOOM TEASPOON OF ALLSPICE. PLACE THE FOLLOWING LISTED BY DOOM, AND PLACE THEM ALL INTO A BLENDER. YOU WILL BLEND UNTIL THE MIXTURE IS SMOOTH AS POSSIBLE. YOU WILL THEN PLACE THE MIXTURE INTO THE BRINE PREVIOUSLY PREPARED. DOOM NOW DIRECTS YOU TO CUT INTO THE PIECES OF CHICKEN AT THE THICKEST PART, TO ASSIST WITH THE MARINATING. DO NOT GO TOO DEEPLY, ELSE YOU HAVE GONE FULL RICHARDS. YOU WILL THEN TAKE THE CHICKEN AND BRINE, AND MARINATE IT IN YOUR DOOM PATENTED REFRIGERATING UNIT FOR FOUR TO SIX DOOM'S HOURS. AFTER TIME HAS PASSED, BRING THE CHICKEN OUT, AND ALLOW IT TO DRY. YOU WILL THEN PREPARE A GRILL, AS WELL AS AN OIL COATING FOR THE CHICKEN. YOU COMBINE THE DRIED THYME, CUMIN, BLACK PEPPER, CAYENNE, AND A VEGETABLE OIL. DOOM RECOMMENDS YOU USE GRAPESEED OR CANOLA OIL, BUT SO LONG AS IT IS A NEUTRAL OIL. COAT THE OIL OVER THE QUARTERED CHICKEN, AND GET READY TO GRILL, SO SAYS I, DOOM YOU WILL THEN PLACE THE CHICKEN OVER THE COALS, AND SEAR GRILLMARKS ON BOTH SIDES OF THE CHICKEN. YOU WILL THEN SET THE CHICKEN OPPOSITE THE HOT COALS, AND ROAST IT FOR THIRTY OF DOOM'S MINUTES. BE CERTAIN TO DAMPEN YOUR VENTS WHEN DOING SO. BUT BEFORE LETTING THEM ROAST, BE CERTAIN TO COAT THE CHICKEN WITH EITHER DOOM'S RED PEPPER JELLY, OR BARBECUE SAUCE. WHEN FINISHED ROASTING, LET THE CHICKEN REST ON A HEATED PLATE FOR AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES. THEN SERVE WITH PINTO BEANS AND A WEDGE OF LIME. CONGRATULATIONS, IF YOU HAVE FOLLOWED THESE STEPS ACCORDINGLY, YOUR SUMMER BARBECUE WILL LEAVE YOUR NEIGHBORS IN WANT AND ENVY, JUST AS IT SHOULD. BUT NOT DOOM. NOW ENJOY, SO SAYS I, VICTOR VON DOOM. Spice Cake COME LACKEY, I SHALL TEACH YOU THE ART OF CRAFTING A SPICE CAKE GLORIOUS ENOUGH TO HUMBLE TO GREATEST INVENTION OF THAT INFERNAL REED RICHARDS. GATHER THE FOLLOWING INGREDIENTS IN THE HIGHEST QUALITY YOUR PEASANT WAGES CAN AFFORD. *2 1/2 cups bleached all-purpose flour *1/4 cup cornstarch *4 teaspoons baking powder *1/2 teaspoon salt *2 teaspoons ground ginger *1 teaspoon ground cinnamon *1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg *1/2 teaspoon ground allspice *1/2 teaspoon ground cloves *1 cup milk *3 large eggs *2 teaspoons vanilla extract *1 cup unsalted butter, softened until easily spreadable *2 cups dark brown sugar FIRST BE SURE TO ADJUST THE RACK OF YOUR PRIMITIVE COOKING APPARATUS TO THE MIDDLE POSITION TO GUARANTEE MAXIMUM FLAVOR. NOW GREASE AND FLOUR A COMMON 9 BY 13 INCH TIN PAN. COMBINE THE DRY INGREDIENTS AND SPICES IN A LARGE BOWL, AND MIX THE EGGS, MILK, AND VANILLA EXTRACT IN A 2 CUP MEASURING CUP. BE ALSO GRATEFUL THAT DOOM IS USING YOUR ABSURD AMERICAN UNITS OF MEASURE TO PREVENT YOUR PUNY MIND FROM IMPLODING ON ITSELF. NEXT YOU MUST BEAT THE SOFTENED BUTTER INTO THE DRY INGREDIENTS. BEAT IT THE WAY I BEAT THE BEYONDER AND STOLE HIS POWER FOR MYSELF; SLOWLY AT FIRST BUT WITH INCREASING VIGOR. KEEP BEATING IT UNTIL THE DELICIOUS MIXTURE FORMS PEBBLE SIZED PIECES. ADD 1/3 CUP OF THE FINEST LATVERIAN MILK AND BEAT IT LOVINGLY UNTIL SMOOTH. ADD THE SUGAR AND WHISK IT JUST ENOUGH TO MIX, SO ABOUT 30 SECONDS SHOULD DO. WHEN DOOM RULES THE WORLD HE SHALL REPLACE TO UNIT "SECONDS" WITH "DOOMS". IF YOUR FEEBLE MIND HAS KEPT UP WITH ME SO FAR, THEN YOU SHOULD BE CAPABLE OF INSERTING THIS MIXTURE INTO THE PAN AND BAKING IT IN THE OVEN FOR ABOUT 2,400 DOOMS, (40 MINUTES IN YOUR VERNACULAR, PLEBEIAN). OR UNTIL A TOOTHPICK (HEREBY CALLED DOOMPICK) COMES OUT CLEAN. ONCE IT IS COMPLETE, CONGRATULATE YOURSELF AS YOU WILL NOW BE WORTH 20 REED RICHARDS. OF COURSE 20 REEDS ARE WORTH ABOUT 0.3 DOOMS, BUT THAT'S THE HIGHEST HONOR ONE SUCH AS YOURSELF CAN ACHIEVE IN THIS LIFE. Jerked Pork Tenderloin GREETINGS, CITIZENS OF LATVERIA IT IS I, YOUR MAGNANIMOUS AND GRACIOUS HOST AND RULER, VICTOR VON DOOM WELCOME BACK TO "COOKING WITH DOOM" TODAY, WE WILL BE PREPARING JERKED PORK TENDERLOIN YOU WILL NEED TO ACQUIRE, FROM YOUR RATIONS PROVIDER: *2 (1 1/2-pound) pork tenderloins, trimmed, cut in 3 pieces each *1/2 bunch fresh thyme, about 1/3 cup picked leaves *1/2 chopped onion *1 to 4 Scotch Bonnet or Habanero peppers, seeded *4 garlic cloves *2 tbsp minced fresh ginger *1/4 cup white vinegar *2-3 tablespoons soy sauce *2 tablespoon vegetable oil *1 tbsp brown sugar *1 tsp fine salt *1/2 teaspoon black pepper *1/4 teaspoon cayenne *1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg *2 teaspoon ground allspice *1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon THESE PORTIONS EASILY SERVE FOR SIX NOW LET US BEGIN PRIOR TO PREPARING THE MARINADE AND TENDERLOIN, PREPARE YOURSELF A GRILL AHEAD OF TIME. YOU'RE GOING FULL RICHARDS, IF YOU USE A GAS GRILL ACQUIRE YOURSELF A BLENDER, THE THYME, GINGER, QUARTERED ONIONS, HABANEROS, AND GARLIC. PLACE THOSE FRESH INGREDIENTS INTO THE BLENDER. IF YOU WISH TO BE LIKE DOOM, PLACE FOUR SCOTCH BONNETS INTO THE BLENDER. NOW POUR IN SOY SAUCE, WHITE DISTILLED VINEGAR, VEGETABLE OIL, BROWN SUGAR, SALT, BLACK PEPPER, CAYENNE, ALL-SPICE, FRESHLY GRATED NUTMEG AND CINNAMON BLEND UNTIL SMOOTH WITH THE PORK TENDERLOIN, REMOVE ANY SILVER SKIN LEFT ON IT. NOW, YOU WILL FIND THAT THE TENDERLOIN AS ONE THICKER END THAN THE OTHER. YOU WILL, FIRST, CUT THE TENDERLOINS IN HALF. THEN, WITH THE THICKER HALF OF THE TENDERLOIN, CUT IT DOWN LENGTH WISE. YOU WILL RECEIVE THREE, EQUAL PORTIONS FROM A SINGLE TENDERLOIN. PLACE INTO A LATVERIAN-MADE ZIPLOCK, POUR OVER THE MARINADE, MASSAGE THE TENDERLOINS FOR ABOUT FIVE MINUTES, THEN SET INTO YOUR REFRIGERATING UNITE FOR FOUR TO SIX HOURS HAS A GRILL READY - YOU'RE GOING FULL RICHARDS, IF YOU USE A GAS GRILL. PLACE DIRECTLY OVER COALS, AND COOK AROUND SIX MINUTES FOR EACH SIDE. IF YOU TURN TOO SOON, THE MEAT MAY TEAR ONTO THE GRILL. GIVE IT TIME, AND IT WILL RELEASE NATURALLY. COOK FOR AROUND 145º FAHRENHEIT , INTERNAL TEMPERATURE. LET IT REST FOR FIVE MINUTES. SERVE WITH MANGO SALSA, BLACK BEANS, RICE AND PLANTAIN CHIPS. THIS HAS BEEN YOUR HOST, VICTOR VON DOOM. Fire-Roasted Chili Relish CITITZENS OF LATVERIA, IT IS I, DOCTOR DOOM. I WELCOME YOU BACK TO "COOKING WITH DOOM" TODAY, WE WILL BE PREPARING A SPECIAL SIDE-DISH: FIRE-ROASTED CHILI RELISH. THIS SPECIAL DISH CAN BE ADJUSTED TO HOWEVER YOU'D LIKE, USING WHATEVER HOT PEPPERS YOU MAY LIKE. BUT FOR DOOM'S RELISH, YOU WILL REQUIRE: *4 Jalapenos Peppers *4 Serrano Peppers *2 Anaheim Peppers *2 Hungarian Peppers *2 Poblano Peppers *2 Red Bellpeppers *1 Large Yellow Onion *1 tbs Dijon Mustard *1 tbs Honey *1 tbs Brown Sugar *1 tbs apple cider vinegar *1tbs freshly ground black pepper *1 tbs sea salt ONCE YOU ASSEMBLED THE AFOREMENTIONED INGREDIENTS, YOU WILL NEED TO PREPARE A COAL GRILL PRIOR TO ROASTING THE PEPPERS. AS THE FIRE WARMS UP, YOU WILL NEED TO TAKE SOME VEGETABLE OIL AND EVENLY COAT THE SURFACES OF ALL THE PEPPERS. YOU WILL ALSO NEED TO FIND A LARGE BOWL AND SOME PLASTIC TO STRETCH ACROSS THE OPENING TIGHTLY. IF YOU CANNOT ACQUIRE EITHER, USE A POT WITH A TIGHT-FITTING LID. WHEN THE FIRE IS READY AND PEPPERS COATED, TAKE THEM OUTSIDE AND SET THEM UPON THE GRILL. YOU WILL ALSO TAKE THE ONION, PEEL ON, AND SET THEM DIRECTLY ONTO THE COALS. THE OUTER LAYERS WILL BLACKEN, AS THE INNER LAYERS TURN GOLDEN AND SWEET. ROTATE THE PEPPERS EVERY 3-6 MINUTES. THE ONION WILL BE FULLY COOKED, WHEN IT'S JUICES BREAK THROUGH THE CHARRED LAYERS AND BUBBLE. ONCE THE PEPPERS AND ONION ARE, BRING THEM INSIDE. SET THEM INSIDE A COOLING UNIT AND ALLOW THEM TO COOL. PEEL THE BLACKENED SKIN OFF BOTH THE ONION AND PEPPERS AND DISCARD. ROUGHLY CHOP INTO WHATEVER CONSISTENCY YOU'D LIKE, WHETHER STRIPS, FINELY DICED, OR CHUNKS, AND SET INTO A BOWL. MIX IN THE CONDIMENT AND SPICES VERY WELL. CHILL, ONCE MORE. ENJOY YOUR RELISH, CITIZENS. SERVE IT ON WHAT YOU'D LIKE, BE IT HOT DOGS, BURGERS OR BAKED SALMON. Affogato And now it's time for "Cooking with Doom"! And now, your lord and master, Doctor Doom! GREETINGS, PEASANTRY OF LATVERIA! IT IS I, DOCTOR DOOM, HERE FOR ANOTHER SPECIAL DISH. TODAY, WE SHALL BE PREPARING AFFOGATO - ITAIAN ICED COFFEE DESSERT! YOU WILL REQUIRE: *3 Cups of cold water *2/3 cup of very freshly ground coffee beans *Vanilla Ice Cream or Gelato (Optional) *Dark Chocolate (Optional) YOU WILL PLACE YOUR COFFEE GROUNDS IN A MEASURING CUP, THEN POUR IN THE COLD WATER. WHISK THOROUGHLY, COVER WITH PLASTIC, AND SET IN A DARK PLACE FOR TWELVE HOURS. IF YOU'D LIKE, MIX EVERY FEW HOURS. AT THE END OF THE TWELVE HOURS, FILTER IT. YOU MAY USE A FRENCH PRESS COFFEE MAKER, A COFFEE FILTER, OR DOOM'S PREFERRED METHOD: TAKE A FUNNEL AND DAMP, HIGH-QUALITY PAPER TOWEL. THEN POUR IN THE COPY, AND ALLOW IT TO DRIP THROUGH. YOU WILL THEN GATHER UP THE SIDES OF THE PAPER TOWEL, AND GENTLY SQUEEZE THE EXCESS. DO NOT ALLOW ANY OF THE COFFEE GROUNDS TO PASS THROUGH. THIS, AS IS, CAN BE SERVED WITH ICE. BUT WE ARE NOT DOING SO, WE ARE HAVING AFFOGATO. NOW YOU WILL TAKE A SCOOP OF VANILLA OR GELLATO ICE CREAM, AND SET IN AN ESPRESSO MUG. YOU WILL THEN POUR OVER THE COOL COFFEE OVER THE ICE-CREAM, UNTIL REACHING SLIGHTLY ABOVE THE BOTTOM OF THE SCOOP OF ICE CREAM. SHAVE DARK CHOCOLATE OVER THE ICE CREAM. Ribeye Steak There is no archive, so make do with this screencap until someone wishes to transcribe it. Lobster A scriber would be useful. Gallery 1333652155446.jpg 1337559978972.jpg|Cynthia sometimes assists her dad. 1387980205495.png Category:Events Category:Stories Category:AU Category:Meme